Caste Out
By Patsy Asuncion
My urban ghetto was a soup kitchen of immigrants—
Black, White, Hispanic, Slavic stirring up their own
gang turfs, crews and church creeds. Threatened,
like feeling a switch blade to throat, nobody crossed
territory marked in piss by different dogs.
Dark mahogany, my Filipino father honed an appetite
for white women—ate at least three wives I heard,
two blondes and an Irish red-head, my teen mother
who fled before my first birthday. His American
dream came at a stabbing price, serial divorces.
As a child piercing stares, deliberate as daggers,
were thrown my way, disguised as routine
pastime, merely glances from zoo visitors
inspecting a curious cub. But, their surveillance
skittered when I looked their way, like a wolf
spider discovering it’s the one now being hunted.
Eyes zigzagged scars across father to stepmother,
then pretended to settle on others. They scanned
me last for telltale moves and my milk-chocolate
features to spit out right after we left.
Civilized bias, polite as afternoon tea, discouraged me.
There were break-ups by college boys after meeting
their parents who’d skewer me with steel words like
Don’t get involved with her, son, face the color facts.
To this day, questions from strangers about
my heritage in Where you from? really intending
What are you? After auditions, I’d get Sorry, you’re
not the right look for us. Even my in-laws
warned Son, we’re worried about more
problems if you have children.
Bigotry cut through white-washed walls
to the full-blooded Filipino world that erased me—
shunned at celebrations cut from Tagalog dialogue
forgotten in family headlines and denied my birthrights.
There was no need for my parents to hint, joke or
talk about invasive scrutiny because each had
identification cards—one for Brown and one for
White exclusive memberships. I held a Green card—
alien residence, subject to restrictions without notice.
Patsy Asuncion, retired educator and Palm Beach Principal of the Year, has published three poetry collections: Cut on the Bias, Lineage of Weeds, and A Universal Belonging. Patsy’s work is in twenty-plus other publications, such as New York Times, Sixty-Four Best Poets of 2019, About Place, Artemis, and Cutthroat. Patsy, a biracial first-generation immigrant, promotes diversity through national, community, and open mic events (YouTube 22,050+ views). You may visit her website at www.patsy-asuncion.com. “Caste Out” is included in Cut on the Bias (Laughing Fire Press, 2015).
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